I know it’s late, but I write when I’m inspired. I try to channel my feelings as I face each new week, and as I do, I think to myself, “What do my fellow moms need to hear today … that they probably aren’t hearing enough?”
So tonight — yet another night when I have no idea what to expect in health, school, the news, politics, etc. this coming week — I’ll share a strategy that’s given me comfort and helped me de-stress: giving in to being “done.”
We started it the evening of Jan. 6th.
I was “done” by dinnertime that night, and instead of falling into my phone, half-assedly doing our evening bedtime routines, and then staying up late catching up on chores and computer work, I told my daughter, Emma (almost 8), that I was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed. She said she was tired, too, and volunteered to come up with me.
So we got our teeth brushed and pjs on, and we cuddled up in my bed, and we read books quietly, and I let her play a game on my phone for a bit, too. At her official bedtime, I tucked her in. Then, instead of collapsing into a big chair and zoning out on my phone as usual and eventually heading downstairs to putter around doing chores, watching TV, and having a snack, I went right back to my bed.
Now, truth be told, I doomscrolled on my phone for another 2 hours … but: I was ready for bed, I was cozy, and the moment I wanted to close my eyes and conk out, I did … actually falling asleep 2 hours earlier than if I had determinedly done my usual “wrap up all the things” evening routine.
Since then, almost every weeknight Emma and I have gotten ready for bed together and cozied up early. Sometimes we read, sometimes we’ll watch each other play phone games, sometimes we’ll watch a show (tonight, pictured below, was the baking competition show “Sugar Rush – Extra Sweet”). I really love it, and she’s commented several times how much she looks forward to our “mommy-daughter time.”
There are some “cons,” of course:
1. I lose after-dinner and after-bedtime “productivity time.”
2. Sometimes there’s chores that don’t get done.
3. That’s about it.
And then there’s the “pros”:
1. I wasn’t really that productive after a certain time anyway – I would maybe do 30 minutes of something good over a foggy span of 3 hours.
2. I’m getting more sleep, so I’m more productive during the day.
3. With the chores like dishes/laundry I put off, I usually end up getting help from my husband or daughter the next day.
4. I’m listening to my body and my brain instead of fighting it (which is like trying to squeeze water from a stone sometimes).
5. It reassures me that even if I have guilty pandemic parenting feelings (my daughter does a LOT by herself while we work most weekdays), I know that we have this and other steady rituals she looks forward to and will look back on positively.
If you’re anything like me, I know how often you keep trying to push through when you feel exhausted.
How well is that working for you?
I hope my example might inspire you to experiment a bit — what might happen if you gave in to being “done” every once in a while?
Really — I wanna know! Reply with any hesitations you may have and I’ll see if I can help in my response.
ANOTHER PSA: USE MY EXPERTISE! ASK AWAY!
Let’s face it: This pandemic has SUCKED — and it’s gonna be a long winter. I want to help as many moms as possible, and it all starts with free, no-obligation, genuine baby steps.
So please — use me! Recommend me! Share these offers with a friend!
Here are 2 easy, no-pressure ways to harness my certified-life-coach training talents:
60 Minutes to Solutions Session: In this free 60-minute phone call, we’ll talk about the worst-feeling parts of your day and how to make at least one chunk of time feel easier. Schedule it here: https://dianaforbes.com/free-consult/
Voxer-on-Demand: Hard to commit to a scheduled time to chat? Let’s play voicemail tag! Check out the free “walkie talkie” app, Voxer, and connect with me there — I’m Diana Forbes – dforbe906 (https://web.voxer.com/u/dforbe906). Once we get connected and you know it’s me, write me with what’s going on or leave me a voicemail (keep it to 5 minutes or less, please) and I can give you some coaching and feedback to get started.
Thanks again for reading!
Hope you’ll be relaxing and getting some sleep soon.