Like many life coaches, I have several vision boards, and I enjoy seeing and reviewing my latest one daily. I can see it, off to my left, from my office desk chair.
Not only does it remind me of what my goals are right now, but I love getting psyched up and feeling grateful when I review it, realizing that I’m already living pieces of it out.
More importantly, when something feels “off,” I notice it sooner — especially if it’s a repeated issue.
An issue came up for me this week that wildly clashed with the image below:
HOW FUN IS THAT, RIGHT?!?
I LOVE this image. It reminds me to work toward a goal / intention / affirmation / whatever the heck you want to call it of “We enjoy our home — daily life runs smoothly.”
Well, as fun as that image is, seeing it every day was a HUGE reminder that daily life is NOT running smoothly right now. With the nicer weather this week, I’m finding myself guilted into supervising my daughter outside several times a day when I need to be doing work.
It’s nobody’s “fault,” and for Pete’s sake, I WANT her to get outside more, but the situation hasn’t been ideal. As a result, I find myself bitchy and resentful every time my work is interrupted, and I end up taking it out on my daughter and my husband.
Not a good look.
Bonus: I feel like a crappy mother.
So … after a quick trip through the Starbucks drive-through to self-medicate with a grande extra-hot mocha, I did something about it. Gotta practice what I preach, right?
Knowing that feeling like Momzilla is NOT my goal, and that it’s NOT going to change without me doing something about it, I figured out what was bothering me the most about the situation, and I put together a plan. Wish me luck that setting up some schedules and limits with my husband, daughter, and neighbor will help me work things out!
NOW — WHAT ABOUT YOU?
So how have your days been going recently?
Have you even checked in with yourself in the past year? Like, beyond just knowing that this all sucks for moms everywhere and cursing the deep articles with all the misery acknowledged but no solutions offered?
Or maybe are you at the point now where you’re throwing up your hands, saying, “Well, things are bound to improve this summer / this fall / next year … we’ll be more back to normal then.”
Look — this all started a year ago. Please promise me you’ll do a little self-check before “then,” OK? I’ll even give you some free coaching, if you want it.
Here are 5 questions you can ask yourself:
1. Please check the THREE MOST IMPORTANT of the following concerns affecting your schedule right now:
- Fulfilling MY work obligations
- Supporting MY PARTNER’S work obligations
- Supporting MY CHILD(REN)’S schooling obligations
- Fulfilling basic family needs like taking care of food-laundry-chores-etc.
- Supporting my child(ren) in other ways like wanting more time to play with them-get outside or active more-helping them connect socially-etc.
- Getting free time FOR MYSELF to exercise-meditate-read-just be ALONE-etc.
- Getting time alone WITH MY PARTNER
2. Which of the following times of day feel DRAINING to you? (If ALL of them feel draining, then I suggest picking your top 3.)
- Early Morning
- Late Morning
- Lunch Time
- Early Afternoon
- Late Afternoon
- Dinner Prep and Meal Time
- Early Evening-Before Kid Bedtime
- Kid Bedtime
- Evening-After Kid Bedtime
3. Do you feel guilty about any aspect of your schedule right now – like you’re not doing “enough” of something at this time?
4. If we could wave a magic wand and ease ONE stressful aspect of your situation right now, what would you change, and how would you like it to be different?
5. If you have a partner at home with you, to what extent do you feel he or she has the ability and/or willingness to help you implement new solutions?
“NO, DIANA – THAT FEELS LIKE MORE WORK!”
Feeling like committing to this is just another huge rock to push up a hill? Or that scheduling and showing up to a call is just one more thing you’ll feel obligated to do?
Tell you what – you can reply with your answers to this email OR just “speak” your answers to me via Voxer instead. I’ll answer you back with some free insight and one or two questions to help you start changing it.
For Voxer, here’s what you do: Check out the free “walkie talkie” app, Voxer, and connect with me there — I’m Diana Forbes – dforbe906 (https://web.voxer.com/u/dforbe906). Once we get connected, share your answers to the questions above with me and I can give you some coaching and feedback to get started.